Dear Zoe,
Let’s talk about people’s favorite topic nowadays: money.
Yes, you are a girl and to many Indonesian girls, money is the domain of the Indonesian male species. But I beg to differ.
At its essence, in our modern time, I believe that making money is asexual, it is a skill that both male and female can learn, improve, and excel in.
Of course, I won’t deny that you girls will have it harder because when you got pregnant, and a child is born, your value at the Indonesian job market would suddenly plummet, but don’t let this deter you from the learning the art of making money.
Some people say that ‘money is not everything but everything in life needs money,’ but I think money is more than that. Money is another way people express their values. (the other being using their time)
Show me how you spend your money and I will tell you who you are.
Money is an enabler, a tool that can help you be more of who you can be. Thus, money cannot be your highest value in life because money is a means to an end, not an end in itself.
So let’s come back to the question why learning the art of making money is important to you, love.
Everyone of us have different values in life and thus, each of us will spend money differently. I for example would spend my money on books and your mom, being your mom would spend her money on food. So expect that you and your husband will spend money differently.
When there is one breadwinner in a family, one’s values might be sacrificed to the other (usually to the breadwinner). And in the short term, this might be okay. But in the long term this could lead to an identity crisis, or even worse depression. As I said, spending money is a way we are expressing who we are, when we are not allowed to do so, a part of us is repressed, and that repression will eat you inside.
All I wanted love, is for you to live out your highest values in life freely, without arranging a quid pro quo with your husband, without apology (after all if you are spending your own money, who would blame you?). As your father, of course I will try my very best to provide for you and teach you how to provide for yourself, but alas, I will not live forever. I also realize that finding a husband that will do the same is not a guarantee. Hence, I implore you to learn how to make your own money.
I hope your grandpa (my father) gets to teach you the art of making money because he is better at it than I do, but I promise that I will try my best to teach you this important art in life.
I do this not because I love money, but I wanted you to be who you truly, without apology, without a husband who is cramping your style.
Love,
Dad